Patrick's story.

The following dialogue is an interview in which I asked my 16 year old autistic brother, Patrick, to explore his identity. 

Alright, Patrick, I'm going to ask you a few questions about yourself. Are you ready?

Yes I am. I'm tired, so this had better be quick.

Sure thing, bud. First things first: Who are you?

I'm Patrick. 

Okay, great. Can you elaborate on that?

I'm just Patrick.

Right... Well, how do you describe yourself?

You heard me, Em, I am Patrick. I'm weird, silly, and sometimes even stupid. I'm a one-of-a-kind. It's kinda hard to describe what I'm like because I'm a unique creature all on my own and nothing is like me. 


     Having lived with this boy for all of his 16 years, I can affirm his testimony. Patrick is, indeed, unlike any other. He is his own species, his own kind.

     This did not occur to me before I began his interview.

How do you think this way that you think about yourself affects how you live your life?

Well, Em, I live my life however the hell I wish. Does that answer your question?

My story.

This one's all about the author, folks!

Who are you?

"I'm Emily. I'm a student, an intellectual. I'm still learning."

 At least, I like to think so. There are few other words that accurately and fully define me. I could say that I'm a musician, but really that's only sometimes. I could say I'm a lover of people and of life... but, again, that's only some days. Today, tomorrow, and forever, I will be a learner.

This is an unfortunate case, however, because so is every other person who exists.

How does this affect how you live out your life?

"Well, I'm conscious of the fact that I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. It means that I've still got time and room to grow."

Do you think you have a better understanding of your identity now?

"I like feeling comfortable about myself. Especially since there are few defining aspects about me; there are so many vague details that do not make me unique. This reflection is comforting in that I am just fine the way that I am."

Lynne's story.

Who are you?

"I'm a miserable old woman suffering from terminal illness."

Lynne is a 42 year old mother of four children. She suffers from a debilitating disease- Multiple Sclerosis. For those too lazy to Google... MS attacks Lynne's muscles, and it has drastically limited her mobility. Her nerves are shot, meaning that she can't sew or cook like she used to. 

All of this has caused Lynne severe emotional issues, including depression.

How does this affect how you live out your life?

"I hate that this is all I am. 5 years ago I was a seamstress, a mother, a wife. Today I am MS."

As if her case weren't unfortunate enough, Lynne's financial situation is also suffering. MS has put her out of work, leaving her husband to work long hours to provide for his family. Luckily, Social Security has recently gone through, so she will soon be receiving monthly checks that will help sustain her household. 

What I love about Lynne is her persistent positivity. Despite the circumstances, she had a smile on her face, and she insisted that I not feel bad for her. After all, she claims she is "a cranky old broad."

Do you think you have a better understanding of your identity now?

"I want you to tell your readers to live their lives while they still can. And to always, always have faith in themselves, even when they're feeling anxious."

Keeping the faith is sometimes the hardest thing we can do in our darkest times. But Lynne and you, reader, have something in common. You are both worth it. 

Hey, you heard the lady.

Rose's story.

Who are you?

"I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. All I can think about is marching band."

Rose is a 15 year old freshman in high school. She is very involved in her school's music department, and she is quite talented in playing low brass instruments such as the sousaphone. 

A self-proclaimed music geek, Rose claims that music is a huge part of her life. This is particularly interesting because she plans to involve herself with music for the rest of her life as well.

How does this affect how you "live out" your life?

"I usually skip homework in order to go to band practice. And if my friends want to hang out, it has to be before or after band practice... It matters more to me."

Rose obviously has a cynical sense of humor. Though, her comments do reflect her dedication and passion for music. This was very evident in her tone of voice- she was quite confident with this image of herself. 

Even though she didn't say so herself, there is a whole lot more to Rose than just a band geek.

Do you think you have a better understanding of your identity now?

"Yeah. This reflection put my priorities into perspective... I think I'm pretty lame."

Certainly, she is not lame. You know what they say... big instrument, big dreams. 

Rose used short, comical statements actually say a lot about her character. Maybe she wanted to make herself feel more relaxed talking about this uncomfortable topic.

Or maybe Rose was simply feeling goofy tonight.

Elizabeth's story.

Who are you?

"I don't know."

 Elizabeth felt challenged by my question. She recalled several adjectives that, she felt, applied to her. Patient, athletic, anxious, obsessive, learning were each mentioned. She told me that she noticed a pattern in these Elizabeth defines herself by what she is good at doing.

Therefore, she's a swimmer, a student, and an intellectual.

How does this affect the way that you "live out" your life?

"I try to use the things I'm good at. I guess I'd like to call myself a student of life."

Elizabeth is always learning and she enjoys change. She has big dreams despite the confusion about her own identity.

She told me that she is aware of her own anxieties which are a substantial part of her life, and she considers them a challenge to be overcome. And she lives in this way- actively opposing such "obstacles."

Do you think you have a better understanding of your identity now?

"Certainly. In fact, I feel differently now. I think I know myself better. I hadn't really evaluated what makes me me."

Elizabeth's story is quite fascinating, and she, too, blogs about her experiences in her faith journey. I highly recommend checking it out- her anxieties are beautifully illustrated in her weekly posts.

I'm sure her humorous and introspective thoughts will relate to something you think about too.

Max's story.

Who are you?

"My name is Max. I'm 19 years old, I'm a graduate of tech school, and I'm beginning my career as an electrical technician."

 Talking with Max was easy. A funny and approachable man, Max entertained my curiosity while talking about himself with confidence and grace. He hesitated at my question at first, but he soon came up with several ideas, all of which involve his occupation. 

Max is a career-driven individual. He informed me that he works hard, and he does so in order to achieve a sense of security.

An adorable representation of "hard working," according to Google.

How does this way that you think about yourself affect how you "live out" your life?

"Well, when I was young, my dad busted his butt at work to put food on the table for my family. I'm kinda following in his footsteps; I'm working hard now so that I don't have to worry about finances in the future."

 Do you think you have a better understanding of your identity now?

"It was interesting to reflect on myself. I hadn't really thought too much about why I define myself the way that I do."

Even though he knew what he was generally about, Max discovered today that what he wanted was to not have to worry about money. He was (and still is) dedicating his time now to so that he can accomplish his goal: stability.

More Thoughts

This week, I interviewed Max, a dear friend of mine who hadn't done much self-reflection before. He thanked me for the opportunity to do so. My challenge for this week to you, reader, is to look within yourself for why you are who you are. You may even surprise yourself.

Tanya's story.

Who are you?

"I'm a college student, a dancer, I have no idea... I'm a sister, a daughter, and a friend."

This response is an absolutely appropriate one for Tanya, a young woman just dipping her feet into the expanse that is adulthood. She is hesitant, but she is very aware of everything that comprises her life. The most integral part, she decides, is family. 

"My family has shaped who I am. I wouldn't be here, in college, blessed with good health and innumerable opportunities, without them." 

Tanya believes that family is her main source of strength. Her parents adopted her at a young age, and they raised her to depend on the people she lived with for support and assurance. Her definition of 'family' involves people who care about her and whom she cares about. Thus, Tanya's family includes her adopted siblings, her friends from school, and her fellow cloggers. 

How does this definition of yourself affect how you live out your life?

"I actively seek ways to reflect the example that my family has set for me."

Tanya is most proud of the qualities she acquired from having a close-knit family such as strength, dedication, and responsibility. During her interview, she expressed incomparable gratitude for the exceptional care she has been given from her family. Tanya feels that family is largely what defines her because of their investment in her life.

Do you think you have a better understanding of your identity now?

"I was always confident in my own skin, but this reflection helped me realize how grateful I ought to be."

This interview was an easy one: Tanya was already very aware of her own identity. Although, she was thankful for this self-evaluation. She mentioned that it reminded her of all the blessings she had been given in life, and that she "will probably call [her] mom after the interview."

.   .   .

More Thoughts

While Tanya is a wonderful example for being aware of one's sense of self, this isn't always the case. Often, people struggle to identify who they are. If you find yourself in this situation, take a look at this empowering Ted Talk by Niko Everett. Everett is dedicated to showing her audience a new perspective of oneself. Her subject relates to my topic for next week, so I recommend checking out this interesting story!

Pondering.

What's the first thing you say when you meet someone new?

    Hello!
    It's nice to meet you. 
    Where are you from?

What about "Who are you?"

Of course not. That's an uncomfortable question. What if I inaccurately respond and end up bending the truth? Or worse: what if I'm not interesting?

YOU ARE!  Of course you are!  Everyone is interesting.  Every single individual has a story and each one has value and worth.  

Well... what do I say? There are so many things I could say. Wait... no, there isn't anything I can say. Wait... actually, I don't know what to say.

Start with something you feel passionate about.  What are you involved in?  What motivates you?  Coke or Pepsi?

. . .

If you are anything like me, you've probably felt that cringing fear when somebody asked, "Who are you?"  You probably came up with a hundred answers at once, and in the same instant, lost any clue you might have had.  

Or maybe you know exactly who you are.  In either case, I want to know.

.   .   .

Who are you?

My name is Emily.  I am a college student.  I am an introvert, but I love people.  I feel very strongly about loving people regardless of their exterior or interior qualities.  

Because of this, I decided to conduct an experiment that will investigate the individual's sense of self.  I will be analyzing the different responses that volunteers have when asked, "Who are you?"  I want to explore how people define themselves.  I'm hoping that doing so will allow the volunteers to better conceptualize their own identity. 

Also, I'd like to practice talking to strangers. 

♡